Incomplete
by China Dolly
Summary: Yugi’s breaking point is when his Yami is gone. What when it actually happens? Angst - Character Death


**Title:**Incomplete  
**Song:**Incomplete - backstreet boys  
**Summary:**Yugi's breaking point is when his Yami is gone. What when it actually happens?  
**Warnings:**Angst - Character Death  
**Pairings:**Only friendship, no love in this one. Though the relationship between Yugi and Yami is rather strong and heavy.  
**Disclaimer:**Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! and also not the song from the backstreet boys.  
**Author's note:** The things between -…- are not from big importance for the story. I just thought it was a good way to empathize some of the words. The **Bold**and _Italic_combined is the song. And the _Italic_story that Yugi is telling, later on in the story, is some sort of flashback.

Now, on with the story.

My soft footsteps pat softly against the -now- hollow hallway. I walk into the -still- empty bedroom. I look up, small hope written in my eyes, but lower them again as I see no-one's there.

I sigh. Even the -carpet- seems to remind me of how things -used to be- and I can't stand it. I walk -slowly- to the window-sill and close my eyes. For me, you will always be here, in my -heart and soul-. But deep down I know you -are not-. When I open my eyes -again- I see it is all true. Not a nightmare that will end, not a story left untold, not even a fairytale that will end the way you wish it would.

_**Empty spaces fill me up with hopes.**_

It is all real life. The bitter truth of the thing that keeps us going. Life. I drag myself over to the -abandoned- bed and fall down on it. My head pushed into the pillow as I try to find some inner-rest. But I can't find any. I can't sleep anymore, can't close my eyes without seeing -you- anymore. Whatever I do, whatever I try, you'll be there. Not really _there_ but still -there-.

I feel tears prickling behind my eyes and I shut them. I almost pinch them together to not let the tears that are threatening to fall, really -fall-.

_**Distant faces with no place left to go.**_

As I have my eyes closed, your image -haunts- me. And I know that even if I fall -asleep-, after a tiring day, you will hunt me. Hunt me down until I fall, but you don't -realize- it. How can you? You're gone. Gone forever. You disappeared for a reason nobody knows and left me all -alone-. Alone, while you promised not to leave, to stay and protect me forever. But it comes to a point that now you're -gone-.

_**Without you, within me I can't find no rest.**_

I push myself up on both my elbows and walk over to the mirror on my wall. I look like a -ghost-. At the word ghost a soft sob racks through my -body-. Even my own looks remind me of -you-. And the most does my -own body- remind me of you. With a heavy sigh I look to -myself- in the mirror again. My tri-coloured hair has lost all it's glow, my eyes are puffy and red from the -tears- I've shed and my face is pale of the lack of -sleeping- from the past few days.

_**Where I'm going is anybody's guess.**_

I turn my gaze away from the mirror and walk to the bathroom with slow, -heavy steps-. It seems I'm almost afraid of walking into the bathroom. The -place of haunting memories-, I know. With a heavy heart and a body that seems to weigh ten pounds more than normal I walk into the bathroom.

With almost all the -willpower- I have, I try not to breathe in the scent that hangs in the bathroom. I start to undress myself slowly and turn on the shower and make sure the temperature of the water is -right-.

_**I try, to go on like I never knew you.**_

I get in the shower and when I feel the hot spray of the shower hit my tired shoulders I let out a -sigh-. I close my eyes and let the water run over my body. I remember when I got beaten up one time. I got home, bruised and bleeding, and -Yami- helped me getting under the shower. Yami. For almost the tenth time in three days I bite my lower lips as my body starts to -shake-. I fall to my knees in the shower as -hot tears- start to flow over my face and drip into the water the shower brings.

'Yami...' I wail as I cry and -cry-. 'Why... why... Yami. You promised me you would stay...' Somewhere I my mind I know I've lost track. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, like a -sleepwalker-. They do, but don't realize it.

_**I'm awake, but my world is half asleep.**_

'Yami... no,' -sobs- rack through my body when I suddenly hear someone walking into the room. 'Yami?' I question softly. 'O fucking Ra! He's totally lost it.' Someone says on a very loud voice.

'Yami? You there?' I ask, still -hoping- the one that was there was actually Yami. 'Yugi, it's us.' I hear a smooth voice with an -English accent-. 'Ryou...' I whisper softly. 'Yes, Yugi, it's me. Bakura, Malik and Marik are with me. C'mon, we'll take you out the shower.' Ryou tells me as someone turns out the shower and someone else draws a towel 'round -my body-. 'Gods, it has totally broken his heart, hasn't it?' I hear someone ask, possibly Bakura. 'Shut up, tomb robber. He has it bad enough without your comments!' Malik, probably snaps, past that I can't take it anymore and slip into the -darkness of unconsciousness-.

_**I pray, for this heart to be unbroken.**_

Touches on my shoulder. I tense a bit as someone calls out my name. 'Yugi. Wake up.' There is it again, the calling of my name. 'Yugi.' The voice starts to get demanding now. 'Come on Yugi, don't fall into darkness.

'Darkness…' I maybe don't even realize that that hoarse whisper comes over my broken lips. My eyes shoot open and I curl myself in a ball on, probably, my bed. Tears are streaming over my cheeks again and all I can feel is emptiness. 'Yami…' I hear a soft sigh and then feel a pair of protecting arms around my waist. 'It's okay Yugi. It's okay to cry.' Ryou whispers to me then. 'How does it feel, Yugi?' I hear Malik ask as he sits next to me, a hand on my fist. 'W-what?' I choke out and I wonder what he means. 'Without your Yami inside.' He says and his voice trembles a bit. I bite my lower lip and I can almost feel everybody scowling at Malik. 'Empty. Alone. Incomplete.' I say softly, trying to make full sentences but failing as sobs come again.

_**but without you all I'm going to be is, Incomplete.**_

'Shh Yugi. It'll come okay. It'll be alright.' Ryou whispers as he strokes my hair, trying to sooth me. 'Yes, it wil come okay.' Marik suddenly intterupts. 'If you just go on with your life, and forget all about your Yami, things will come okay.'

'Yeah, Marik's right. Forget about your Yami. We're here to help you and things will come alright.' Bakura agrees. I raise my head slightly and look at the two other Yami's in agony. 'Forget Yami?' I almost shriek. 'Never! No.' I say, but I'm confused again. From behind me I can hear Ryou sigh and mutter something like "am I the only one that doesn't make it worse", but he doesn't say it out loud. 'Okay, okay. We're sorry. We didn't mean it like that.' Bakura says with raised hands.

_**Voices tell me I should carry on.**_

I nod a bit. I know they didn't. But it still feels like they did. That, just like in battle-city, the will try everything to take me down. 'Maybe he'll come back.' Malik softly suggests and I look at him with unbelief. 'No. I'm not kidding. Maybe he'll come back, I mean he came back once after 5.000 years, why not now also?' He asks, trying to make his point clear. 'Because the puzzle isn't here anymore!' I suddenly yell and jump out of Ryou's embrace. 'Yugi… don't.' He warns me, but I don't listen. 'But what would you know about that? Nothing! You were probably doing some things much more fun when my Yami dissapeard. I bet you were. You don't understand at all! You still have your darker half. You still feel complete! You don't know!' I yell and everybody looks stunned at me.

_**But I am swimming in an ocean all alone.**_

Then suddenly Marik's face softens. 'Than, tell us about what happened and maybe we understand.' I look at him. Maybe I should. Yes, maybe. 'Please Yugi, then we can try to understand.' Ryou pleads me and I nod almost unable to see.

'_It started a week ago. Yami was feeling weird and I asked him what was wrong. He told me it was nothing, just a weird and stupid feeling in his abdomen. I thought it was okay, so I let it pass. But two days later Yami started to get some sort of illness I didn't know about. I couldn't ask grandpa for help, 'cause he was in Egypt for a dig. So I just gave him a couple of aspirins and hoped he would get better.' _I take a small gasp of air and hiccup a time. _'I asked him again what was wrong, and he answered. "I don't know Aibou. I think it's something with the puzzle." He told me. I didn't think he worried, but I did. "What if you disappear?" I asked him. "I won't. I'll be here forever." He told me.'_

_**Being, my baby, is written on your face.**_

I hiccup another time and look down. 'Some promise that turned out to be.' I whisper softly. I see Malik's at the point of asking me to continue, so I do before he can ask me so. _'Two days ago, I suddenly heard Yami scream. So I went to my room to check on him. I saw him sitting on the bed, looking at me. But I could see through him, that scared me. I asked him what was wrong, but he didn't know. So I went to grandpa's room. I knew he had books about spirits, so I started searching. But, of course, I couldn't find a thing.' _Here I stop for a moment. I stare out the window, to the lonely tree that stands in front of it and sigh. _'I couldn't have known that when I came back in the room Yami was glowing like the puzzle. "Aibou." He called out. "What's wrong with me?" But I didn't know._

_**You still wonder if we made a big mistake.**_

_Then he started to disappear. I didn't know what to do, so I ran to him and threw my arms 'round his waist. As if I could keep him from gong away with that.' _I softly snort. That was stupid. _'But he did disappear. The last thing he told me is to never forget him. I told him I wouldn't. Pas that he was gone. I fell on my knees and tears fell on the carpet. When I heard something falling on the ground I looked up again. I saw that it was my puzzle. But he wasn't whole anymore. He was in pieces again. And when I crawled towards it and wanted to make it, it disappeared, just like Yami did.' _I stop. Tears are in my eyes and I sit down on the bed, my hands in front of my eyes.

_**I try, to go on like I never knew you.**_

'O, Yugi.' Ryou whispers as he throws his arms 'round me again. I think it's more for his comfort then mine, but still. It feels nice that someone's there. Everybody's silent for another fifteen minutes or so when the phone rings. I pull myself out of Ryou's arms and walk towards the phone. 'Yugi Mutou.' I say and the person on the other side of the line must've died from fright. I sounded like death itself. My voice raspy and I was hiccupping all the time because of the crying. 'Hey, Yugi. What's wrong man?'

'Hey Jou.' I say softly, not wanting to answer his question. 'Yeah, hey. Say what I wanted to ask is if you were coming to school again tomorrow. Scince you weren't there today, I thought maybe tomorrow.' Jou asked, on his cheery was of speaking. I raise my head and look towards the four persons in my room. 'Yes, I'll come tomorrow. Just had a bad day today, s'all.' I tell him, and I can see Ryou smile.

_**I'm awake, but my world is half a sleep.**_

'Okay, that's cool man. Maybe you'll tell me what happened, kay?'

'Kay. See ya Jou.' I say, not wanting to talk to him any longer. 'Seeya Yugi-man.' Jou says cheery and then the other side of the line goes dead. I hang up the phone and walk to the kitchen. I know Ryou will make them follow me, so I don't have to worry about that. I make myself some tea, as if I'm all alone in the room and sit down. 'He wants to know what happened.' I say softly after half an hour of silence. 'So? Tell him.' Bakura states simply. 'You don't understand. Jou was my friend, because of Yami. Now Yami is gone, he won't be my friend anymore.' I say and Bakura looks stunned.

_**I pray, for this heart to be unbroken,**_

'H-he does?' Malik asks me. 'Yes. He does. They never cared. Only when Yami saved them they cared. It seems that now Yami's gone, I not only feel incomplete. I will loose my friends also.' I say, totally emotionless. Better that, than crying. 'No, you won't.' Ryou tells me stern. 'If they do that, they're not your friends. Not at all. And besides, they care. In the start they even didn't know about Yami being your other-half.'

_**but without you all I'm going to be is, Incomplete**_

With a sad sigh I let myself fall into the seat of the school-desk. I hadn't slept at all last night. Pictures of Yami kept hunting me. And now I can't find any rest either. I'm at school. The place Yami used to go with me. I have gotten so much strange looks already. I'm looking like a ghost. I combed my hair, okay. But my eyes are stil puffy and I'm still pale. And also people are wondering "where is Yami?". But they don't ask. They think I'm on an emotional breakdown. Well, I can tell, I'm already over it.

We are five minutes into lesson now, and the teacher is calling the names for absence. 'Yugi Mutou.' I hear the vague say of my name, but don't pay any attention. 'Yugi Mutou.' I hear it again and look up. Whole class staring at me as I say that I'm present. The teacher smiles friendly at me and goes on. 'Yami Mutou.' I hold my breath. 'Yugi, do you know where your brother is?' The teacher asks me friendly. I hiccup and feel that my cheeks are becoming wet of tears again. 'Yugi, man, you okay?' Jou asks me from my left. 'No. yami won't come. Never again. He's gone, disappeared. I don't know. It's all my fault.' And without permission of the teacher I stand up and run out of the classroom.

_**I don't mean to drag it on,**_

I run as hard as my small legs can carry me and end up at the gym lockers. I lean against one and try to dry the tears on my face.

'Yugi!' I don't look up. I know who it are, walking towards me. 'Yugi, it's not your fault.' I hear Ryou say. 'What isn't?' Jou asks but Tea gives him a slap. 'Can't you see he's sad!'

'I tried, Ryou.' I say and now I look up. 'Yugi, it's not your fault.' Ryou says as he walks towards me and takes me in an embrace. 'It's not that.' I hiccup. 'I tried to forget, like Marik and Bakura told me. I couldn't. I want to, I can see nothing else than him.'

'You don't have to forget him, if you don't want to.' Ryou says and I can hear soft whispers coming from behind him. Probably Jou, Tea and Kaiba, wanting to know what happened. 'But that's the point!' I cry out. 'I want to forget him. To go on, but I just can't. It's like he isn't even gone. So much he haunts me. I can't stand it!'

_**but I cant seem to let you go.**_

'People, people, what is going on here?' I hear a soft voice ask us. I look up, tears in my eyes, and see the school nurse. 'What happened to you?' She asks me softly as she walks towards me. Ryou takes a polite step backwards and looks at me. I refuse to look at him, and instead look to the ground. 'He has lost his brother, miss.' Ryou tells the nurse, after a while of silence. 'He did?' The nurse asks, and she seems surprised. 'And he came to school?'

'Yes.'

'Well, then I think maybe I should send you home, young mister.' The nurse says, now directed to me. I nod, almost unnoticeable. 'Okay then. I'll go and tell the principle I sent you home. What's your name?'

'Yugi Mutou.' I say, hollow. 'Alright. Your friends can walk with you 'till the school gates.' I hear her say, and after that she's gone.

'Shit man, Yami's gone?' Jou asks now and I nod.

_**I don't want you to face this world alone.**_

I start to walk away. I don't want to hear their questions about Yami, about what happened. When I reach my locker I pull it open, get my jacket out and pull it on. I, almost, slam my locker shut and walk to the school gates. When I reach them, I turn around.

'Go home, okay Yugi? Don't go wondering around all kinds of places. They'll bring back unwanted memories.' Ryou, don't warn me. I know what not to do. But I'm slightly afraid I will do it anyway. I nod and am about to turn around when I hear Jou speak up. 'Can you say that you won't do those things, Yugi? A nod isn't a that good answer.' I look up at him and hate myself. I don't want to lie, not now. But they would hate to know I was going anyway. 'No, I'm sorry.' I say. Jou looks stunned, Ryou sad and the rest is probably a mix between those two. With one last sigh, I turn around and walk away from school, from my friends.

_**I wanna let you go.**_

I am on my way home. I walk around like I used to. Anybody who wouldn't know me would never thing there was anything wrong with me. They would see a happy boy, that is just send from school because of some mischief. A happy boy, with a happy life, and happy friends. Yes. Happy. Well, that's the least I am now. Even sad is an understatement of what I am. It's more freaked out, suicidal maybe even. Wanting to die, to be with you. To be one again. Of course, that would be stupid. You would blame yourself, hate yourself and disappear by the overwhelming self-pity. Now, that's also not what I want.

_**I try, to go on like I never knew you.**_

I walk slowly and reach the park. Floating memories. That's the first thing that comes to my mind. But I don't care. Maybe if I embrace the memories, you'll disappear, I'll be able to forget you and I can go on with my life. I walk into the park and look up to the sky. The air is clear, which surprises me. In books, stories and movies, it always rains when a person is sad, or when there's a battle. Take Lord of the Rings as example. It always rains when they fight, and when they're done fighting, they're suddenly standing in broad daylight. Funny.

But anyway. I'm actually happy it's dry. It makes your mood better then it actually is. I smile, see I don't think that much of you anymore.

_**I'm awake, but my world is half a sleep.**_

Well, I think of you, but different. I'm sad, tears threatening to fall, but still I think different. I don't know, nor do I understand. It's like you're walking next to me, whispering to me that everything's gonna be okay and I don't have to worry. You always had the power to calm me. Yes. I think your spirit is still with me, like it was before. But not _in_ me, with me. Like you're here to comfort me, and leave when you know I will go on with my life.

Is that what you want? For me to go on. I hope so, but I won't forget you. And I really hope that you'll be here when anything else happens. That you'll comfort me. I smile and feel tears in my eyes. Yeah, just one last time.

_**I pray, for this heart to be unbroken,**_

I know that I'll never feel the same without you, that I'll always be a half of a whole. Never a whole piece. A puzzle, without its last piece. I know that, and want to fight the urge to cry again. I know you're here, at least I think, but it doesn't feel like it should. Somehow I start to wonder, is this how _normal_ people feel? People without their other half? Of course, they've lived with it their whole life's long, they won't notice. It's a whole different feeling. And it doesn't feel right. With your other half, things get more easy, smoother. You do things with more ease. I sigh. Now I'm depressed again. I guess that mood will come and go.

_**but without you all I'm going to be is, Incomplete**_

but I have friends to help me. Thought they'll never understand. Never. The feeling of being alone doesn't comfort me, but the feeling that Yami is there does. The two are battling and I don't know who will win.

So now, here I am at the end of the park again. I think I'll go visit Ryou, school's probably over already. Yes, I'll visit Ryou. It'll make him happy to hear what I've decided in the park. So I walk towards the zebra crossing to cross the street. I stop, for only a moment and let the sun shine down on my face.

Unfortunately because of that I didn't hear the screams of the surrounding people.

Unfortunately because of that, I never saw that car coming straight at me.

_**Incomplete.**_


End file.
